As per my recent periscope, these are the 3 most common mistakes I see from people topping for the first time. (Yes, me too.) Doing any of these doesn’t make you BAD at it, it’s totally common! Just something to improve on is all.
1. The Whirlwind Tour: You thought up your whole scene. You’re proud of it, it’s hot, and you can’t wait to do every part with your partner. You’re both rrrrready to do this, and off you go!!!! …and 15 minutes later, it’s done. You rushed through every part because you were eager to get from one to the next, or maybe because you were nervous. Take your time, be patient, and enjoy each setpiece. Your partner and you will be the happier for it.
2. The Whole Damn Toychest: Capitalism has convinced you that the more implements you own, the better at topping you are. Not so! You don’t need to go through 5 different floggers, 3 canes, and 6 separate paddles in one scene. Pick 3 implements at most for a short scene, no more than 5 even for a marathon. The consistency and patience is more important.
3. Smooth Criminal: This is hands down the least offensive thing you can do. If anything, it’s probably better to do this than the opposite. But I hear enough complaints that I’m going to remark upon it: Asking if your partner is OK every 10 seconds. This ain’t an MJ song, okay? Establish safewords beforehand, use the stoplight system even (Yellow means I like it but too hard/intense, red means stop.) Trust that your partner will use them and do your thing.
You’ve got this. Have fun, and good luck. If you need it, I’ve got lots more tips and advice in the following links:
The Red Light Blog 