submissivefeminist:

Him: What are you up to?

Me, pounding myself with seven inches of thick silicone, cumming repeatedly to the sickest porn I can stomach on a Thursday morning: Not much, you?

lonely-gfd-cutie:

So at one of my jobs I work with this really nice woman named Liz who has an equally nice boyfriend. Thing is, I don’t know the boyfriends name because Liz only addresses him as boytoy. The term boytoy is used so frequently to describe him that not only does she have no problem using that term but neither do any of her coworkers including myself. One day Liz told me that he would be stopping by and when some dude with a beard came through the door I looked at him and said, “Mr.toy I presume.” And he just looks at me and goes; “The very one.” 

Fucking eh. Relationship goals.

diary–of–a–domme:

Domme: You know what’s dangerous?

Sub: Hm? 

Domme: I’m bored and I wanna play a game

Sub: Oh fu—- 

schmergo:

If you don’t have the time and money for both a girlfriend and a dog, then I, a terrifying werewolf, am an excellent bargain

conformitiesrebellion:

Why is “pretty boy” considered an insult like call me a pretty boy
Call me a pretty boy right now I want to be the prettiest boy you’ve ever seen

subbyflip:

Good boys make good toys!

Enough said *Drops mic*