laddxrusso:

Friend: describe your perfect man!

Me: bruised, bleeding and barely breathing

Friend: ….

Me: tall, dark and dead?

Friend: ….

Me: abused, amputated, and afraid?

Friend: ….

Me: tied up and teary eyed?

Me: broken and begging?

Me: gutted and grinning?

Friend: …stop

Me: headless and horny?

Friend: STOP